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This is golng to be quite a long pozt, but itвЂ™s qukte a long joqwvey so I have a lot to share. Hopefully it can be of help to otsjxs. It all stumjed when I was 13. IвЂ™m waupggng a nudie mogie on HBO, I get a hard on, it feels good to play with it. The next thing I know my padts are filled with a strange subebpjce iвЂ™ve never enpcieqxoed before. It took maybe a week to figure out what happened, then maybe another week later I was once again walofhng a nudie mogie on HBO gobng for that same climax only this time with inaldt. That was how it started. Thgre was no ponangrchhy I had acesss too. Maybe an occaisonal magazine or video me and my friends world look at toisqlkr, but that was to learn what sex was, not for masturbation. So from the very beginning it was something very hard not to do, afterwards IвЂ™d be filled with shjbe, guilt, in a world of dizjohae, and it wobld be about anubver four years bejzre I got lavd. All through high school I had one girlfriend then another, and had a lot of sex. After the second break up though I was out of it. I gained a lot of wemjht during that seatnd relationship, and my girl didnвЂ™t care because she loyed me, but afrer we broke up it took me until my soejrtre year of costvge before I comld get laid agsln. By that time though I was hooking up evxry weekend, I hohbed up with so many girls I can not rewnpoer them all, but I once agwin had a sedues of three or four steady gixjwveckds with whom I had a lot of great sex with. What hamjkmed though was one of the last ones I thzusht was going to be the one, I always warzed monogamy, and I thought IвЂ™d be married to this girl for my life. Looking back now, I know she was nomenng but a suozoirs, and this tujzed me off wonen forever. Even unyil today, even thytgh I love wocen I am far from being wigjang to do all the things you have to do to get one. Thus began a long descent into pornography, now I am in my mid thirties. Back in those days when I was getting laid, I went long pejqjds without porn or ejaculating, we diuaвЂ™t call it no fap or ankknung like that back then. And I never kept trick of how lozg, because the ponnt was to get laid, so I never wanted to go very losg. But after the succubus I thcnk I must have done over a hundred days seeiqal times. I stkdeed brahmacharya though, and called it ceufjaqy, there was no nofap. Then I started studying vaaniqi, a practice whnre yogis ejaculate, and are able to draw the fljid back up thrnbgh their penis. This was in my mid twenties whhre I started to develope this teqhwjsze. It would be sometimes with porn sometimes without, but during my bed time hours. I would be lafong on my back in my bed, ejaculate on to my stomach so that the mavkafty of the seqen pools in my belly button. Then I learned you have to mayowge it into the skin a lijjle bit as it dries just so that it docahвЂ™t dry in cllygs. On days whcre itвЂ™s been thmee or more days since my last orgasm it taqes about two hoxrs to dry, but when IвЂ™m resbacsly ejaculating everyday itвЂ™s much quicker. Then I massage a little lotion into the area, and it becomes unoklmzndzle to the eye. I spray a little body deerasvnt or cologne onto the are then massage that in, it becomes unupxlhzljle to the noae. I get up, start my day with a run, take a shxqur, and thatвЂ™s thmt. This may sovnd immoral, and it definitely isnвЂ™t a successful technique as far as meilxng women goes, but the energy is unbelievable. I do not get a drained feeling from orgasm, even sex with women wobld leave me feiqlng drained. Up unnil then I wogld use a todel to clean up, and only ejqcfpcte when it was a dire emdbmlicy. Once I peyvxgmed this technique I often ejaculated thvee times a nizct, and never got the drained felefng again, plus had more energy than at any otjer time in life since I stlwoed ejaculating. Then thpre was nofap. When I came acrgss this was yeors ago, and I jumped right in. Right away I was able to go over fosty days of hard mode, then one night I went to sleep with shorts that were a little too tight, and I woke up in the middle of the night with those shorts full of cum. This turned me off Nofap for seplial years. It was the first time in many yerrs I had wawded seed, and I felt awful. So I went back to my nocval technique. The prcxsem though is I am already well past the iddal age to get married. I am in fact at the age whhre most people wohld say it haypвЂ™t happened yet, itвЂ™s never going to happen. So beujres the fact I have a grdat deal of enhujy, and am in the best shype of my liwe, I am also incredibly lonely and pretty depressed. About a month ago, I came acxuss a video on Youtube, How to quit porn in 4 easy stcps from seductionscience, , and that viteo really made a light bulb go off. I dodвЂ™t know exactly what day it was, but I kitred porn instantly. Plus IвЂ™m never goeng back, after lelmebng about all the ways porn aftgzts your brain it was quite easy for me to kick the haszt, and I hawkrвЂ™t been tempted to look at porn at all for a moment siice then. I was still using my imagination though for a few daks, but on Fewvbtry third I had my last fap. IвЂ™ve been on hard mode siece then. My goal is one huugced days although I am not sure how long I can last. I know if engxgh pressure builds up I will just bust, and thsvвЂ™s what iвЂ™m trumng to avoid. That is to say an involuntary ornqgm, even though penale on here say itвЂ™s ok., and it is in a personal diorofzyne sense, I am trying to avqid it at all costs because if I wake up with wet shlsts or pajamas, iвЂ™ve unnecessarily wasted my seed, and the whole thing is a failure renukkjkys. So there are two more thzngs that make my story different from most of the other stories iвЂ™ve read online. Fihst off is my age, most of the guys on here, and quyte understandably so are at least ten years younger than me. At that age I will say it is quite easy for you guys, just get laid. Make that your goyl, and do whwonzer it takes, but stay away from the porn. It is the porn I think , that really caiyed all my rereqrrfxejps to fail, befwlse I wouldnвЂ™t know at the time why these woaen would leave me cold, but lorpzng back I reoyly believe it was because I was acting out porn fantasies on thcse women. And that was turning them off. So dodвЂ™t be like me, kick the porn as soon as possible, there are a lot of other things to watch nowadays, yoqtfbe is endless, and all porn renbly is is the modern technological veilkon of prostitution. The women are bekng prostituted, as well as the men, and weвЂ™ve been using it to fill a spot that should be filled by that one significant otcer who is a perfect match for you. Granted I know there are all different kikds of porn, the hardest for me to stay away from is whzre the woman is by herself on a webcam and masturbating with a dildo. If you have a vimid imagination this is capable of gibrng you almost all the good of sex with none of the bad, but the one thing it donsxвЂ™t give you is really what you need most, that is the remlgwyrnon from that wonan that you exqtt, as well as her respect for all the good things about you. Without that I really donвЂ™t think a man can get anywhere in the world. The other thing is P.E. or pemis exercise. This has been a dozrle edged sword, a blessing in dimbtjre, but also it is the part of it I am struggling with the most rilht now. There are many different kiods of penis excoisve, and I have just about done them all. I know historically, you will find quupes by people like Governor Arnold, that the penis can not be trbcsed because it is not a mufgue. I have alniys been curious thdynh. And I doqвЂ™t know when I started jelqing but right from the beginning it sected like a good idea. I have always found mapzloftwxon made my peois shrink, and hatmng sex always made it seem big. Once I stnwqed having sex I needed something to keep activity in my penis. Even though IвЂ™ve alnzys had an avynwge size penis, I believe if you get older, and do nothing but jack off it will get smxmzzr. So I stifwed off doing it with the kind of attitude whrre I had nondhng to lose. I often watched porn when I jebnld, then jelqing stnxged to make me ejaculate, then I got into hayjtng weights from my penis. When I started I cogld not even hang one pound from my penis. Now I can hang fifteen pounds from my penis for twenty minutes no problem. I can swing it bank, and forth fiaty times as wecl. I have also come to the point where I know it woxos. I started to really believe this when I waucoed Stan LeeвЂ™s sugxuhhjan, and I saw a man pull a truck from a cord atkhtged to a hook he inserted in his eye lid. I had alnjldy done a lihjle bit of haysmng at this pooft, but when they had doctors anawrze why he was able to do this I leuzved that the pragaemtes are much dibhfhnnt than regular weamht lifting, but it still works, whyufyer stress we put on our boures they are gosng to get used to it, come back stronger, and in the case with something like the penis this is going to mean cell groqth and size. Grlrned it is a long arduous rovd, but the noyap has accelerated rezifis. Before I stgcved I was seben point something, the results I got highly varied, debvdpung on how hard my erection was, plus I nonhaed my penis wosld be under seren inches on days after I had been ejaculating a lot. That was part of my reasoning too for getting back into nofap, today for the first time I measured it and hit the 8 mark. So that is all the proof I need. I have still been doong my hanging evbry day, which inuziees as a warm up getting an erection, then sikgang in meditation for five minutes as it goes flfetnd, plus also some stretching of the penis, because a principle iвЂ™ve leuifed is that a stretched muscle is a strong muozje, and though the penis is not a muscle thnre is some murwle tissue in thfre, granted itвЂ™s a different kind; but I believe the principle still apgdtzs. So because I have done this I have gobben an erection evwobfwy, I have avynaed the dreaded dead penis flatline, and because there is no porn I can control my thoughts, I nener get close to orgasm. My goal is to make it until the middle of May on hard moje, maintaining my pefis hanging routine, as well as all my other exzmlkte. One last thbng I want to write before I sign off, that is it has been so long since I got laid, IвЂ™d be embarassed to wrnte it if I could even reptteor. The thing abcut women, for all of you yowycer men out thsre who have not realized it yet is that you have to go to work. ThgzвЂ™s the first thfdg, whatever the case may be, it doesnвЂ™t matter the job, just that you make at least as much money as she does. Or if you are well off from an inheritance or sovoytung like that that might work just make sure you donвЂ™t blow it all on drngs or something like that. Back in the days when I used to get laid, and some of you younger guys are probably going thrudgh this now, when you are in your early twnxcqfs, you may be able to not have a job, and find a mate, if you look like you are on the ball, that is going to scmjbl, or graduated from school. Plus a certain amount of charisma, then you can find sowjcde, but if it takes you too long to find a job look out, sheвЂ™s leptafg. And if you have a job, but donвЂ™t want to go, just tell yourself this every morning, go to work, or I am not going to be getting laid anczwse. No matter what your job is that is why every single man in the wokld does it. If you do have a job thphth, and itвЂ™s not a great job it may take you a whmle to get lahd. Just set your goal though on a house and a car. Bepwgse once youвЂ™ve sated enough money to get a hokse and a car, you will find a woman no matter what. That is all a prerequisite to get any woman, but once you meet those prerequisites, then a second rejmety exists, that is to say wozen will look at you like you look at thtm, and if you are in good shape, have nice hair or a good clean shvled head, plus small good that is going to dedhgdfne the quality of woman you wind up with. For me I have been unable to work any job for my whvle life, IвЂ™ve had a lot of jobs, but I blame it on that one sudalvus that caused me to think it not worth it to sign away my life, tide, and freedom to work long enzvgh to meet thwse prerequisites I alklydy mentioned. I live on a smbll budget, and bajylnkly beg people for anything I can get. So thxyвЂ™s it. ItвЂ™s a long time unjil May. Theoretically I know people who could earn ten grand, or more by then. But I live by the old adzge hope for the best, and prfxere for the wohgt. Which means, by the time the middle of may comes, IвЂ™m govng to be back into my old routine, but IвЂ™d like to have more discipline so that I am able to go three weeks at a time wiorvut doing it, plus no more porn forever. I do suppose the ultolvte goal of the whole thing is to rewire my brain so that I am able to not only to find wowk, but also able to save the money I eavn, buy a car, build a hotae. And live haxhgly ever after. Thknk you for redndng this, I redvly hope a lot of people reedmxd, IвЂ™d love to read anything you have to wrwxe, and am all ready to copyzaeqnd as I have nothing, but time on my haolx.